The Silence is Broken

2010 has come and gone. It's been awhile, actually it's been a year; but I'm breaking my silence. Sometimes it is better to say nothing when you don't know what to say.
I went through a lot of changes last year. I move from the southwest to the midwest. I really didn't want to go, but I had to be obedient and let all my things go. Talk about a culture shock.I forgot how cold it can get in Ohio. I forgot about how twenty degree tempertures can chill your bones. I forgot about the how you have to wear layers to keep warm. Snow boots, hats and coats, forgot about all the snow. I remember real quick when the first snow hit. Started crying, telling God I can't do this. Started complaining one night when I was walking through the snow. He gave me a poem letting me know, there is beauty in everything, even in the snow. Clean and refreshing is the snow. It clears your head and there's no thunder like it is when it rains. No pounding or beating on the window panes. It just lightly falls, God calls it White Rain.


White rain cold and frozen but when it comes
down there is no stain.
Silent in motion it comes down like rain.
Queitly frozen no shapes are the same.
There is a beauty in the falling of
white rain.

As strange as it seems I found a peace watching and walking through the snow. A time to be quiet and listen to the voice I want to know. A season that has me standing still. Learning how and when to do his will. Seeing a change in me each day, whether I'm walking through the rain or snow. It's refreshing to know that your in his will when you learn how to listen an be still.

Check your Attitude

You know when you just have one of those days when you seem to have a bad attitude about everything that comes your way. Not realizing it, your voice will begin to escalate because someone said something that offended you. At this point, your blood pressure is rising, and you are doing everything in your power to keep your mouth shut, for fear of saying the wrong thing, because you know once you say it, you can’t take it back. You walk away from the situation or conversation to avoid any conflict between you and the other party. Only to find yourself imagining what you should’ve, could’ve or would’ve said. Thinking that your right, because of course, everything you say to yourself is in total agreement with your flesh.
Yeah, I said it, flesh; that nasty, stinkin, prideful, all about me flesh. You know what I’m talking about, the I,I,I and me, me, me, Ooowe, nasty. Now if you are in the word God you will realize it right away, but if your not, that fleshy spirit will linger and cause others to stay clear of you.
I have to constantly catch myself and ask the Holy Spirit to put me in check, whatever the conflict or situation is. Instead of imagining the worse and shooting off my mouth, I am beginning to ask the Holy Spirit, first to forgive me for imagining such ridiculous thoughts and ideas, then how to handle the situation or the person I am having the conflict with. If I don’t, it gives the enemy room to plant seeds of resentment, pride, bitterness and hate, all the things that are not the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Where am I going with this, what I am saying is check your attitude. Find out from the Holy Spirit why you are reacting this way. He will set you straight if you allow him to. He is a great mediator, He will tell you what to say, when to say it and how.
Often times we fail to realize that it is our wrong way of thinking that causes some major issues in our lives, we get a chip on our shoulder because we think were okay, or we think we know what were doing, or our way is right. When in reality it is our Heavenly Father who determines what is okay, what we should or should not be doing and if we are right or not.
Remember we are constantly evolving, changing into his likeness. Walking in his love and presence, this is how we grow into his image.
I must admit checking my attitude is an every day thing. I have to watch what I say and put my thoughts under submission.

Don't let the Bed Bugs Bite

God has many interesting ways of taking care of his children. A lot of times we are not aware of him working behind the scenes. We don’t know why we can’t move forward or go backward. We just have to trust him and stand still. Believe that he has everything under control.
Now why am I saying all this? Well, several weeks ago I encountered bed bug bites at the center I was staying in for my discipleship. My feet were so swollen I could hardly walk up and down the stairs. But I tried to make it to every class and service, regardless as to how I was feeling; which was pretty miserable. To give you an imaginary view of how swollen my feet were, think Fred Flintstone. Now it sounds funny but that’s how big they were. I was having an allergic reaction to the bed bugs. Now that wasn’t so unusual for me, because am allergic to any type of insect bite, I swell up on contact. Lawd forbid I get stung by a bee; I probably look like Pillsbury Dough Boy. I always thought bed bugs were a myth, you’ve heard the saying, “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” I use to laugh every time I heard someone say it. Now I know they actually do exist.

The director of the women’s ministry asked me to leave until I was able to move around again. Going back and forth to the emergency room for medication wasn’t doing me any good, I needed to be off my feet. She suggested that I get the right medical attention, because it didn’t look like an allergic reaction to bed bugs. To her it seemed to be something a little more serious.
Hurt and confuse, because I knew that was the problem. I packed my things and went to stay with some friends of mine; which is where I am now; and will be until they can get rid of the little pest. Uh yeah, they still have them and they’re worse than before. Now the director of the women’s ministry is being eaten alive, along with everyone else. Of course no one is having an allergic reaction to them; they just have discussing little bite all over their body.
Um, and to think that I almost went back because they hadn’t return any of my calls; I was just about to return because I thought that was what God told me to do, NOT!

I allowed my imagination to get the best of me. I thought I was being tempted to stay out of the program. I said, “Well, if they don’t call me back, I’ll just go anyway. The devil is a lie; I have to be obedient to what I heard in church on Sunday morning.” I had to check myself, because I almost went back with an attitude and no direction. I felt stupid when I found out that the bed bugs were still there. Then I started to question if I really heard Holy Spirit saying, “Go Back” to me during service or was I feeling guilty about staying away for so long. To be honest, I really didn’t want to go back this week because my birthday is Sunday. But I realize that if you want to be obedient to God’s will, you do what he wants you to do, because it’s not about you.

Am sure you’re asking what my next step will be. Uh, don’t know, just standing still to see what he says. That doesn’t mean I won’t go back, it just means I can’t until they resolve the problem.

About my Father's business

Well, I've packed up and have thrown away every thing that isn't important to me anymore, or I should say that I won't miss. Made call to the Dream Center to tell them that I am coming back, but no one has return my call. I wonder what that is all about. So I decided that I'll just show up at their door step and say "Let me in." I hope there is still room for me. I know the Lord told me to go back.
God is good. I have some money coming in from unemployment, which I didn't expect. I don't have to worry about food because there is plenty to eat.
You know Sunday, when I was in service I saw Jesus's feet. I knew that meant it was time for me to go back. Not to mention that he told to go back. LOL

The service at Kingdom In the Valley was really blessed. The Holy Spirit moved in a mighty way. People were healed and delivered. God is just awesome, how could anyone not serve him.

That is why an going back. I want to be obedient to his will and purpose for my life. So hope to see you soon. I hope to blog again soon, but you don't hear from me, please pray for me.

God wants to know the Heart of man

There is a song that I listen to as often as I can by Donnie McClurkin, “Speak to my Heart”. As matter of fact, am listening to it now while writing this blog. It’s my prayer to the Holy Spirit, when I want him to speak to me. I want to know the deep thoughts of God. I want to know his Spirit, which is the Holy Spirit.

It says in 1Corinthians 2:10:10Yet to us God has unveiled and revealed them by and through His Spirit, for the [Holy] Spirit searches diligently, exploring and examining everything, even sounding the profound and bottomless things of God [the [a]divine counsels and things hidden and beyond man's scrutiny]. It goes on to say, 11For what person perceives (knows and understands) what passes through a man's thoughts except the man's own spirit within him? Just so no one discerns (comes to know and comprehend) the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. Amplified Bible

When I opened my eyes this morning, I asked God what he wanted me to do with my day. I had this strong nudge from the Holy Spirit to go back and read Isaiah 43:18-19: 18Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Amplified Bible

I said to myself, “Okay, I’ve seen this before. What are you trying to tell me Lord?” So He took me to Ezekiel 36:26-27:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. NIV

So I said to myself again, “Lord haven’t I been keeping your laws and decrees?” So he guided me to Ezekiel 33:31-32: 31 My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. 32 Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice. NIV All I could say was, Ouch!!

But wait, here’s the cool part. I went to Hebrews 8:10 where it says: 10This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. NIV
This follows up with Isaiah 43:18-19 and Ezekiel 36:26-27.

All I could say was, “Speak to me Lord, take your hand and put your word in my heart! Let your Spirit abide in me and me in you, so I will not sin against you. For it says in John 6:44-46 that it is the Spirit of God that draws men to you and that you will teach them. John 6:44-46: 44No one is able to come to Me unless the Father Who sent Me attracts and draws him and gives him the desire to come to Me, and [then] I will raise him up [from the dead] at the last day. 45It is written in [the book of] the Prophets, And they shall all be taught of God [have Him in person for their Teacher]. Everyone who has listened to and learned from the Father comes to Me--(A) 46Which does not imply that anyone has seen the Father [not that anyone has ever seen Him] except He [Who was with the Father] Who comes from God; He [alone] has seen the Father. Amplified Bible
Teach me father to put your word into practice and always allow you to speak to my heart. For it is the heart of man God wants to know. We must practice his word and not just hear it.

Hello and Welcome

Hello everyone,

Am glad you drop by. Am using this blog while I am in the discipleship program at the Dream Center in Phoenix, Arizona. So you can walk and pray with me as I take this new path in my life.

God has done so many things in my life as some of you may already know by reading my Facebook and MySpace comments.

You may be asking why are you in a discipleship program and what led you there? Believe me I asked God the same question. Like some of you I fell into hardship with no place to go and no one to turn too but God. So I asked Him, where do you want me to go and what do you want me to do. A still small voice spoke to my heart and said the Dream Center. Not knowing much about the Dream Center I search the internet to check out what the program had to offer.
Click here to learn more about the program. http://www.phxdreamcenter.org/.

When I got there I didn't know what to expect. I thought is was a place for homeless people, but it's not, it's much more. It's a place where you sit at the feet of Jesus. It's a place where you have a one on one relationship with him. It's a place where you go to the next level.

Now believe me, I would have never pick a place like this for myself, but this is where I am for a while, and I learning so much about myself and being in His Presence.

So join me when you can; as I take this journey at Jesus's feet. The Holy Spirit has already delievered me from a thirty-five year addiction to cigarettes. That is a testimony in itself. As of September 6,2009 (which is my birthday), it will have been two months since my last cigarette, my last one was July 6, 2009, the day I enter the program. I find that very interesting, July 6, Sept 6, hummm...

I had to step out for a minute because of a an allergic reaction to some bed bugs bites, but I intend on going back. Just as soon as finish some last minute business, which should be done by the end of this week. Hopefully the bed bugs are gone.

I hope to share with many of you the changes that I will be going through while I am in the program. I am eager to hear from all of you who vist this blog, and I hope that you will pray for me as I will be doing the same for you.

God Bless, and let the journey began.

P.S. Don't forget to leave a comment!